Updated: Sep 5, 2022
Through the years, I’ve seen many women wearing a “Proverbs 31 virtuous woman” t-shirt or with a Proverbs 31 bumper sticker on their car. However, virtue is more than a label. As Proverbs 31:10, 11 points out, virtue is a lifestyle. Both men and women can learn the three keys found in these verses that, if applied, will help us to develop a more Christ-like character, leading to a godly marriage.
Virtue is defined as conformity to a standard of moral excellence. The section heading of Proverbs 31:10 NLT is “A Wife of Nobel Character”. The woman described verse 10 is said to have earned a reputation for possessing outstanding qualities and capabilities not based on any external attributes such as physical beauty or material possessions, but by her actions. Her virtuous character was demonstrated in the way that she lived her life and cared for her family.
What about you and your reputation? How do people describe your character?
The phrase “She is more precious than rubies” reveals another facet of the relationship between this virtuous woman and her husband. It demonstrates that he recognized and appreciated the value that she added to his life. In other words, he didn’t take her for granted.
I can certainly relate to what this husband must have been experiencing. I give God all the glory because he knew what he was doing when he brought Renita into my life. He fulfilled two marriage principles from Genesis 2:
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18)
First, God blessed me with companionship. Over the course of our 32 years of marriage, Renita has become the person who knows me better than any and is closer to me than any other person on the planet. We truly enjoy spending time together. Second, He gave me a compatible partner and He gave us a relationship roadmap following the Bible. I can honestly say, that although we sometimes rub each other the wrong way, we still appreciate the way we’ve learned to balance one another.
Sometimes my strengths balance out her shortcomings and vice versa, her strengths fill in where I’m weak. I certainly recognize God’s blessing on my life. As Proverbs 18:22 reads, He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favor from the Lord Proverbs 18:22.
As a way of thanking God and honoring Renita, throughout the years I have, it made a habit of expressing my appreciation to her. Sometimes I’ll just take her hand, look into her eyes, and tell her how grateful I am for how she’s blessed my life. She does the same for me as well. Another powerful way that we show our appreciation for one another is by sharing sincere compliments about one another in front of other people. This is especially powerful when Renita and I are both present.
Trust is an indispensable ingredient in every relationship. It is especially important in marriage where husbands and wives have so much invested in their ability to live together in harmony. Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone. However, trust is not automatically experienced in a relationship. It is earned over time through positive shared experiences. Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil.” How did this woman earn her husband’s trust? The answer is summarized in verse 12, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Then in verses 13 through 31, the details of how she ministers to her husband, family, and community are spelled out.
There are no 3-Easy Steps for developing a godly marriage. No quick fixes. Developing a godly marriage requires developing a godly character. It’s what the bible refers to as building up the hidden man of the heart (1 Peter 3:4). However, remember that God is patient and he’s working in you every day to will and to do his good pleasure. He’s shaping you more and more each day into the image of Christ. Your responsibility is to submit to his lordship and allow him to finish the work.
When progress is slow and it appears that you’re not making much progress, remember the promise of Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
The Power of Agreement uses scriptural references, biblical examples, the Quick's personal stories, and testimonials from family and friends describing how working in agreement produces powerful results. Order your copy today!
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