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The ABCs For a Fulfilling Marriage

Updated: Aug 15, 2022

A child’s knowledge of names and shapes of letters is a strong predictor of their success in learning to read; therefore, learning the ABCs is fundamental. The same is true of most things in life. The foundation we build upon is essential for strength, stability, and longevity. Based on my 30+ years of experience, the following principles, mainly derived from scripture, are fundamentals for building a strong foundation.

Some of these ABCs For a Fulfilling Marriage will be reminders while others will be a new revelation. Just remember that Christ came and sacrificed His life so that we would have abundant life (John 10:10) and that includes abundance in our marriages.

A - Agreement in our marriage is powerful. The gifts, talents, and skills of our combined effort are greater than the sum of our individual endeavors. (Genesis 2:18)

B - Be open to change. Flexibility can often lead to individual growth which enhances our relationships. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

C - Conflict is inevitable and unavoidable. Learn to resolve it lovingly. (Ephesians 4:32)

D - Different isn't wrong or better. It's just different and God knew what He was doing when He formed you that way. (Jeremiah 1:5)

E - Expectations change over time. Don't be surprised if last year's preferences have shifted as our minds are being transformed. (Romans 12:2)

F - Forgive often. 77 x 7 and then some. (Matthew 18:21 -22)

G - God and His principles come first. They will guide you in relating more fully to your spouse. (Matthew 6:33)

H - Hone in and practice good relationship skills. Practice doesn't make perfect, it makes permanent. (Matthew 7:12)

I - Intimacy comes in four forms - physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual. Understand and develop them all so that your marriage can thrive. (Song of Solomon 1:1 – 8:14)

J - Just say no to electronic devices in your bed. The marital bed was intended for much more pleasurable things! (Hebrews 13:4)

K - Keep your focus on moving forward. The past is for learning not living. (Isaiah 43:18)

L - Learn your spouse's love language. It's a key to effective communication. (Hebrews 10:24, I Thessalonians 5:11)

M - Marriage is a marathon. Endurance comes when we intentionally run the race together. (Galatians 6:9)

N - Never allow parents and family into the most intimate areas of your marriage. Remember God's instruction for us to leave and cleave. (Genesis 2:24)

O - Oneness can't be achieved when unforgiveness resides in your heart. Set yourself free from the offenses and any residue of resentment. (Matthew 6:12 AMP)

P - Pray together often. It's one of the best ways to start your day. (I Thessalonians 5:17)

Q - Quick to listen, slow to speak. Consider using your two ears and one mouth proportionately. (James 1:19-20)

R - Resist the desire to get even and keep score. Be mindful that your scorecard might be inaccurate. (I Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV)

S - Submit one to another. The Bible teaches that submission is a two-way street.

(Ephesians 5:21)

T - There's no reward in 50/50 performance. Strive for 100% commitment and sacrifice from both spouses. (Colossians 3:17)

U - Understanding paves the way for resolution. Listening for understanding is the first step towards agreement. (Proverbs 18:2 NLT)

V - Voice your opinions and concerns with humility and kindness. A soft answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)

W – Worship and serve together as a couple with other Believers. Those experiences can increase your spiritual intimacy. (Matthew 18: 20)

X - X-tra attention must be given to keeping the fires burning. Continue to “date your mate”. (Song of Solomon 4:16 – 5:1)

Y - Your spouse comes before your children, family, friends, job, and even ministry.

(Deuteronomy 6:5, Ephesians 5:21-22, Ephesians 6:4, Deuteronomy 5:16, Hebrews 10:25, Matthew 28:19)

Z - Zero in on your spouse's needs, desires and expectations and do your best to support them. We are in this covenant until death do us part. (Mark 10:9)


The Power of Agreement uses scriptural references, biblical examples, the Quick's personal stories, and testimonials from family and friends describing how working in agreement produces powerful results. Order your copy today!

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